Friday, April 2, 2010

Time to say goodbye

I found the inspiration/courage to "go Paleo" at the Crossfit Games VA/MD/DC sectionals competition last weekend. It wasn't the ripped athletes in perfect form that I found as encouragement, rather it was seeing the delicious foods that a fellow volunteer was digging into as well as the "OMG WOW" taste of PaleoKits.
Weight and food have been a lifelong issue. Tall from birth I stuck out and my peers immediately noticed this difference. Whether their taunts influenced my self-image or if I really did manage to pack on the pounds that quickly I don't know. What I do know is that food became my emotional outlet from as early on as kindergarten. It was the only thing I felt I could control. It was how I rewarded or punished myself. Bored or lonely? Eat! Happy? Eat! Trying to subconsciously delay studying or chores? EAT! Boy issues? BINGE!
I understood the need for proper nutrition. I just didn't understand nutrition. As a child I would eat bread and pasta instead of steak because I thought it was healthier! *tragic* Over the years I have been moving towards a more "all-natural" diet as well as one that frequently omits animal protein. I don't eat beef at all and rarely pork. Poultry and fish still grace my plate once a day if I can manage it. I've been following the Flat Belly Diet guidelines throughout 2009 and saw a 50lb. drop on the scale *yay* but my body composition isn't where I want it to be. I've been working out at a Crossfit gym for 3 months now and while I'm getting stronger there is still no way I'd walk the beach comfortably. So here we go: PALEO. People swear by it and I'm running out of ideas. I want to see my body change and be done with the constant obsession of "weight loss." My relationship with food is a healthy one these days. I'm a beautiful, happy woman. Coming in just under 5'10" and as a truly curvy size 10/12 I am weighing in very close to my goals. I love my natural hourglass, I don't want to be a flat chested stick insect. As an opera singer I realize that if God hadn't built me with several key physical attributes I wouldn't be the instrument that I am. I'm not fighting that, I am fighting the soft belly and remaining dietary weaknesses.
So these next few days will be spent studying up on all the rules of the caveman way and stocking my pantry with essentials. I will admit that I am currently eating the bad stuff, like some pathetic chain smoker about to kick the habit taking one last drag down to the filter: some hummus, pita chips, peanut butter, yogurt and chocolate before I bid it all adieu.
Have a very Happy Easter. I'm going to enjoy some of mom's famous Bunny Cake and collect recipes~*

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